Those Daring McQuacks in Their Flying Machines
by Zebeckras
Summary: WTF NEW!  Webfoot continuity, takes place a little while after "House on Avian Way".  Launchpad takes Beth, Honker and Gosalyn to an airshow to see his family perform, but things become complicated when it turns out FOWL is involved.
1. Act I, Chapter 1

**Those Daring McQuacks in Their Flying Machines**

**by Zebeckras**

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_A/N: Yaaaaay! (Maybe!) I've been working a lot on rewriting my earlier fics lately, but just in case people who have been following the series wondered if I was planning on continuing it... here is the start of the latest! This follows "The House on Avian Way" (which itself follows "All About Elizabeth", which is actually the most recently-written one) and is a Darkwing-Light, Launchpad-Heavy fic. Yaaaay! I've been wanting to write this for a few years now, though for a long time I only had a vague idea of a few things I definitely wanted to include and a potential idea for a storyline. My husband helped me pull a few things together at the start of this year and I'm finally feeling ready to tackle this! I expect it to be somewhat shorter than my average - I'm aiming for around 7 or 8 chapters - but I don't know how frequent the updates will be. Hope no one minds. :) Enjoy and PLEASE, PLEASE leave feedback! I'm not sure which my priority should be right now, new fics or rewrites, and so if it looks like the rewrites are the ones getting more attention then I'll probably go ahead and focus on those - unless you TELL me you are reading this! So please do :) Thank you!_

_OH and PS: lest I forget, Darkwingpsycho is doing my betareading on this and as always I am deeply grateful for her help!_

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Act I, chapter 1

Launchpad slapped a newspaper onto the dining room table and beamed proudly.

After a moment in which the pilot didn't say anything to elaborate, Drake took a look at the paper. "'St. Canard Poison Center reminds everyone not to take poison'? Nice to hear they're taking a creative approach."

"No, not that one!" said Launchpad cheerfully. "The St. Canard Air Show Starring the World-Famous Flying McQuacks!"

"Ohhhh yeah. Y'know, I think you might've mentioned that ten or twenty times before." In contrast to Launchpad's clear excitement, Drake made no effort at all to seem even slightly interested.

Launchpad pulled a chair out from the table and sat down, looking at the paper with an almost fond expression. "Yeah, guess I'm excited. They haven't been through here in three or four years!"

"You really don't see your family except when they're in a local air show?" Drake thought this was a little bit sad. Not that he ever saw his family, but there were circumstances involved there that he didn't feel needed any elaboration.

With a shrug, Launchpad said, "Yeah, well, they're pretty busy. So'm I, actually. Our schedules just don't fit together too well." Perking up again, he said, "But now they're gonna be in town all day today, an' flying in the air show, an' everything! I've been planning this for weeks!"

"I'm sure you and the kids will have a lot of fun," Drake said absently. Air shows were not his cup of tea, and he didn't intend to fake an interest. Gosalyn, on the other hand, had been nearly as excited as Launchpad ever since she'd heard of the event.

"And Beth," Launchpad added. With that remark, his near-giddy attitude suddenly made sense to Drake.

"You're going to introduce her to your parents," he said in dawning realization. Launchpad grinned sheepishly. "You're taking her to meet 'Mom and Dad'. Does she know that you're engaged, or were you going to wait until the day of the wedding to tell her?"

"Oh come on! This is totally normal, there's nothin' romantic about introducing a friend to your parents."

"Have you _told_ them about Beth before?"

Evasively, Launchpad said, "Couple'a times," and examined the tablecloth. Drake took this to mean that there had been a number of conversations on the subject. Redirecting the conversation, Launchpad said, "You sure you don't wanna come along? We got plenty of room in the car..."

"Gonna have to take a pass on this one, LP," Drake answered. "Not all of us have 'days off' in the usual 9-to-5 sense of the word." Technically, of course, he was preaching to the choir. Launchpad didn't work a day job any more than he did. But Drake knew that the odds of Launchpad pointing that out weren't very high, and he liked the way the dramatic flair of that sentence outlined the difference between him and the average Joe Cubicle.

"Really? I thought we took care of all the big bad guys for now. Did SHUSH call with an assignment?" asked Launchpad. At that moment, though, Gosalyn burst into the kitchen and Drake was spared from having to answer.

"Dad guess what!" she announced as she launched herself excitedly into a chair at the breakfast table, "I'm gonna see if Launchpad can pull some strings and get me into the cockpit of an F-22 Raptor!"

"That sounds reasonable," Drake said airily, catching Launchpad's eye to make sure there was no doubt that the pilot would NOT be pulling any strings.

"Uh, Gos, don't be too disappointed if they're not lettin' civilians inside mosta these jets," Launchpad started, but Gosalyn blew him off with a snort.

"Oh whatever. They can't possibly keep an eye on all of them all day long, and besides, it's not like I'm gonna _steal_ them or blow something up!" She pulled a cereal bowl towards herself rapidly and it made a scraping sound against the surface of the table. "Dad, do you have any idea what kind of fire power is in these babies?"

Drake cringed. "Please tell me that they don't leave the jets loaded."

"Y'know, you should be more excited about what's gonna be goin' on above us!" Launchpad interjected in an effort to hijack Gosalyn's train of thought. "They got some of the best pilots in the world comin' out to fly these jets, an' some of 'em are state of the art!"

"That's so COOL," Gosalyn said, bouncing in her seat. Drake wondered offhand how many bowls of cereal she'd had so far that morning; he had a feeling the one she was pouring for herself now was at least the third. After all, it was nearly 10 am on a Sunday morning. "Does your family do weapons demonstrations, Launchpad?" she asked.

Launchpad laughed. "Nah, they don't do army stuff. They're formation fliers, y'know, aerobatics. It's a lotta fun to watch!"

"Keen gear," said Gosalyn cheerfully. "Dad, you should totally come! It's gonna be great!"

"Well, Gos, you know I'd love to, but crime doesn't take a break just because-"

The doorbell rang, and Gosalyn catapulted out of her seat and ran for the living room. "That's Honker! He was gonna bring a book about the specs on the Tie Fighter 18s!" Drake could almost swear that she left a cloud of dust in her wake.

Drake's arrival in the living room a few minutes later was met with an excited stream of chatter from the couch, where Gosalyn had set herself and Honker up with three or four magazines and one heavy-looking book. Honker looked pleased enough, even though Gosalyn was the one doing all the talking.

At his left, Launchpad laughed and said, "Hey, at least she's excited, huh?"

"Sure you can handle her, LP? You've seen her when she's surrounded by heavy artillery..."

"Aw, no problemo. She really can't get into any trouble at an air show, an' besides, I'll have Beth with me."

Although Drake had his doubts about Launchpad's ability to focus on things that were not Beth while Beth was around, he wasn't really worried. His sidekick was perhaps not the brightest bulb in the box, but he was undeniably dedicated to the kids and he'd never dropped the ball while taking care of them, with or without Beth around.

The doorbell rang again, and Gosalyn sat up straight and then jumped up to answer it. Launchpad, however, was already on his way across the room and he beat her there by perhaps a half a second. Despite the effort he had clearly made in doing this, he nevertheless managed to look completely casual when he opened the door to a smiling Beth Webfoot.

"Hi! I'm not early am I?" she asked. She was holding a bag in both hands, and it was clutched in front of her, a bit like a shield. Despite the oddly defensive body language, she looked perfectly thrilled to be there, and gave Launchpad a huge, bright smile before turning the same expression on everyone else.

"Nah, just in time! C'mon in!" Launchpad stepped aside as she entered the room, and as she walked around and greeted Gosalyn and Honker, stopping to chat with each of them, Drake tried not to notice the way Launchpad watched her stared at her, really with what Drake could only consider a kind of silent expectation. Not that he got the impression that Launchpad was precisely _expecting_ anything, only that he didn't think the pilot was aware of how intense he was becoming in his fixation on Beth. Drake wondered if Beth noticed, and what she thought of it. Maybe she liked it. If she did, though, then she needed to give the poor guy a break and just let him know already.

"Morning Drake!" she finished, turning the smile on him.

He greeted her, not bothering to match her enthusiasm; it rolled right off her back, and he felt a sense of relief at finally reaching some minor point of being comfortable with her. "So, all set, huh? Everyone's here?" Drake checked the time; it was now just past ten and it felt like the day was slipping away.

Beth took a moment to do one of her odd, missing-the-point reactions to what he had just said, and she looked around the room as if she wasn't certain who was there, even though she'd just greeted everyone in it. "Oh, um, I think so..." She looked questioningly at Launchpad, who was predictably just over her shoulder.

"Yep, it's just us four goin'. I guess we oughta get on the road it takes almost an hour to get out to the air field... Gos, Honk-man, you guys ready?"

"YEAH!" Gosalyn cried, scrambling to her feet and knocking several magazines onto the floor. Honker, somewhat more reserved, turned in his seat and nodded.

Launchpad turned back to Beth and asked, "An' how 'bout you?"

"Think so," she said. She brought her bag up to eye level and started pawing through it. "I wasn't sure what to bring but I heard that these things get really loud so I thought maybe earplugs do they get really loud?"

"Well, it can get noisy with all those engines," Launchpad allowed. Beth nodded and thrust her hand into the bag, then pulled it back out, gripping a few cases of foam earplugs.

"So this ought to help. And then I have some packets of tea, because I thought we could get some hot water while we're there well, hopefully anyway and if it's too warm for tea we can just drink regular water, and I brought a little cash for souvenirs in case the kids want anything, and of course some sunscreen since you never know what the sun's going to do. Oh and I have a little blanket in case it's chilly. Will it be windy?"

"Uh, probably. Or at least, with all the engines..." Launchpad trailed off, apparently a little confused.

Drake had to roll his eyes. "Y'know what, Beth, I think you're prepared. I think you could join the Boy Scouts, you're so prepared. So go, have fun, and let other people worry about things for a while." He started up a trick he hadn't used for a while, of stepping towards Beth to get her to back up towards the door. It worked just as well as ever, and since she was moving, Launchpad kept pace with her, and Gosalyn was out the door and making for the car as soon as she saw they were on their way.

Beth paused at the door. "Why don't you come, Drake? I bet there's plenty of room in the car and you'd probably have a great time." Her smile fell. "Oh! But I only brought four pairs of earplugs you'd have to go without... or someone else would..."

"I don't really mind," Launchpad offered.

Drake shook his head vehemently, and hoped they'd assume it was a noble sacrifice on his part. "No, no, you save those earplugs for yourself, LP. I'm sorry to say that I have a busy day ahead of me and air shows are _not_ in the schedule."

"Oh, you have to work?" Beth looked sympathetic, but not about to press the point.

For effect, Drake threw in a little extra. "Well, the criminal world doesn't shut down just because a few fancy planes fly into the city limits."

"Ohhh," said Beth, as impressed as she ever was; Launchpad nodded as though he knew from experience that this was true. "Well... I hope it won't be TOO hard, since you'll be all by yourself, but "

"I'll be fine," he assured her, managing to get her out the door. She gave a little wave, then turned and started down the sidewalk to the driveway, where Gosalyn and Honker were waiting at the car.

As Launchpad started after her, Drake gave his sleeve a quick tug. "Hang on, LP. Let me give you some advice." When his sidekick stepped closer, a questioning look on his face, Drake said in a hushed voice, "Don't push."

"Huh?" Launchpad clearly had no idea what he was talking about. "Don't push what?"

"You. And Beth. Don't get ahead of yourself. Just watch it." He tried to indicate with his eyes what he meant, but the point was still lost on Launchpad, who seemed to have the self-awareness of a trout.

"Aw, we're fine, DW. Nobody's pushin' anything."

"Hokay... whatever," Drake said, and gave up. "Have fun, then."

"Will do!" Launchpad gave him a thumbs-up, then paused on his way to the car. "Sure you don't wanna come with?"

Drake shook his head and reiterated once more the same thing he'd been saying all morning: "No can do, just too busy today."

"Okay! Well, see ya tonight then!" Launchpad said, and made it to the car. Drake watched them pile in and then pull out of the driveway, and he waved as they drove off down the road.

"Just too busy," he said to himself as they disappeared around a corner, and he went back inside and shut the door. With a sigh, he settled back onto the couch, then stretched out his legs and lay down, settling the newspaper over his face to block out the mid-morning sun. "Yep, yep, yep... too much to do."

* * *

By the time they were fifteen minutes outside the city, Beth had gone through the contents of her bag in full one and a half times and she was already considering that she might have underpacked.

"Didn't you say you have a blanket in there?" Launchpad asked, peering at her bag.

She was staring out the window as he said this. "Um, well, I just thought y-you know how you never know what the weather will be like in, in, in um-" As she answered she made tentative little gestures towards the steering wheel, as if unsure whether she should grab it or not. It reminded him to check the view out the windshield, but once he'd corrected their trajectory away from an approaching tree, he turned back to her. By this point she seemed to have cleared her thoughts and was more relaxed; her hand fell to her lap. "Um, in November. It can start out cold and get pretty warm by the afternoon."

Beth turned around halfway in her seat and looked at Honker and Gosalyn, the former of whom was wearing a light sweater, while the latter was wearing her usual purple t-shirt. "I can't even tell which of you two is dressed properly for the day." She was clearly erring on the same side as Honker, since she was wearing a wool jacket over her shirt.

"Aw, c'mon, you have to be from a tropical island to get cold in _this_ weather," Gosalyn said. She looked at her window as if she was considering opening it and riding with her head sticking out.

"It's in the 50s, Gosalyn!" Beth said in mild disbelief. "Honestly. It must be your metabolism. I freeze when it goes below 70 degrees."

"Aw, well, I'll help keep ya warm," Launchpad said cheerfully. He loved that coat on her. It made her look so huggable.

Beth flashed him an unsteady smile, and he realized what he'd just said. "Thanks," she said uncertainly.

"Uh, I meant with... uh... the car heater," he added lamely, and turned on the vents.

"Oh. Okay," she said, smiling a little more. She turned back towards Honker. "Are you cold? Or if Launchpad turns up the heat will you feel too warm back there?"

"Um," said Honker thoughtfully, folding his hands in his lap, "I think I'm fine."

"Hmm, if you're fine now we probably don't need the heat that high..." She prodded at the heater while Gosalyn kept a running commentary about how they were all way too sensitive to cold.

Eventually conversation switched to the subject of the airshow, what kinds of planes they were likely to see, what kinds of performances were scheduled, and what precisely Gosalyn would do to stow away in one of the fighter jets. By the time they were fifteen minutes from the airfield, the topic had drifted over to the subject of Launchpad's family.

Beth, who had been reasonably nervous about meeting the Flying McQuacks for the past week or two, now found that she had amped up into the "ridiculously nervous" range over the past half hour. She tried to reassure herself they were Launchpad's family, they had raised him, they were naturally going to be good people and then he said it.

It was a casual comment but it put everything into a new perspective for her. They were talking just generally, about the letters Launchpad wrote, whether or not the McQuacks knew who was coming, whether or not they'd miss getting to meet Drake, and so on; Beth mentioned that they probably wouldn't know what to do with her, and Launchpad said, "Oh, no way, they're really lookin' forward to meetin' you!"

That was when it occurred to her, for the first time, that she was meeting Launchpad's parents, and usually when adults brought other adults to meet their parents it was a sign of things getting "serious" between them. In fact she had avoided introducing Launchpad to her family for exactly that reason.

It wouldn't have mattered, of course, if they'd actually been dating. Or if she had known that Launchpad felt the same way she did, that they were platonic friends and nothing more. But when she factored in the fact that he was, admittedly, a little infatuated with her...

Fact: Launchpad wanted to be more than friends with her.  
>Fact: Launchpad had talked about her to his parents.<br>Unknown: In what capacity had he mentioned her?  
>Fact: Whatever it was, it was favorable, since they were interested in meeting her.<br>Logical conclusion: Launchpad's parents were expecting to meet his girlfriend.

She suddenly felt too hot in the coat she was wearing, except that she also felt like she wanted to leave the coat on and maybe pull the collar up around her chin.

It was just past 11 am when they arrived at the air field, and the day was clearly beginning to warm up as they parked the car and set off for the hangars. Beth took her coat off, then felt chilly enough to put it back on and decided to keep it with her for the whole day, even if it meant carrying it after lunch. Launchpad was busy identifying planes to Honker and Gosalyn, and Beth was both relieved and terrified at being left alone to her thoughts as every step brought them closer and closer to a situation she no longer felt prepared for.

Launchpad looked back at her as she began to trail behind them. "Hey, somethin' wrong?"

"I, um, not really..."

He smiled. "You're not nervous, are ya?"

Sheepishly, she answered, "Well, a a little bit. New people and all... you know."

"Don't worry," he said, taking her arm gently and pulling her forward, "they'll love you."


	2. Act I, Chapter 2

**Those Daring McQuacks in Their Flying Machines**

**by Zebeckras**

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_Just to prove that I am working on this one in my spare time... :) Thanks again to the awesome DarkwingPsycho who beta'd this for me! Oh also, LaDinde is a turkey: "Dinde" is French for turkey, get it? :P It's pronounced similar to "Dand" like in "Dandy" hence the running gag. And, some of the times when he speaks in italics it's French. Not always but mostly._

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Act I, chapter 2

The mechanic at the St. Canard air show did not like to stay in one place, and so he traveled between various shows across the coast, doing repair work of a hundred different types. He was drawn to planes, it was true, but that wasn't the limit of his understanding.

A pig of indeterminate age, guesses of how many years old he was generally varied between 50 and 65 years, a broad spectrum which he did little to narrow down. Rosso, a taciturn porcine fellow, did enjoy company but did not particularly take to conversation. He preferred to spend most of his time with his head deep in the workings of machinery as someone else chatted to entertain him, and most of the people who knew him were aware of that quirk, as well as the more immediately obvious one of his ever-present sunglasses.

Rosso was not, in fact, Italian, but few people realized that until he spoke.

He was quite popular at the air show, as he was most other places that he found work, both for his skills as a mechanic and for his ability to get along with almost anyone. Of course, that skill was probably easier to come by when you essentially let anyone say anything they wanted without any apparent judgment, but most people didn't feel the need to point that out.

In general, Rosso liked pilots. They came from a wide variety of backgrounds, they had some crazy stories to tell, and although a lot of them had healthy egos, they respected his work ethic and his skills. For the most part he got on with everyone at the air show.

When he heard footsteps coming towards the far end of the hangar, however, he looked up to find one of the few exceptions to the rule.

"_Bonjour_, M'sieu Rosso! 'Ave you a minute?" Maurice LaDinde was always unfailingly polite at the start of each conversation. This could turn on a dime.

Rosso gave him a stare in response, and after a moment in which his smile faltered just slightly, LaDinde went on. "Very well, I shall assume zat you do. M'sieu Rosso, my plane is in need of your tender loving care. Could you take some time to come and see to him?"

With a grunt, Rosso stood up fully from the hatch of the plane he was working on, and said slowly, "You alvays are asking for me to look at plane. Alvays, ees noting wrong. Vy you need I look now?"

LaDinde gave him a winning grin. "Ah, _oui, oui_, you always keep ze planes in such fine condition, M'sieu Rosso... _maintenant_, I just wish to know zat he is going to fly _perfectly_ in ze show zis afternoon." The grin shifted into something less pleasant, as LaDinde leaned in close. "Of course, if you are _busy_, I can make sure zat ze committee in charge of your employment knows you cannot 'andle your workload..."

Rosso, unthreatened by this remark, went back to his work under the hatch of the jet. When LaDinde began to complain, he held up a grease-covered hand and kept silence for nearly a minute before finishing his work, wiping his hands as best he could on a filthy cheesecloth, and setting off towards LaDinde's private hangar to do some work servicing the pilot's already perfectly-maintained plane.

One of the things about LaDinde that bothered Rosso was that he always seemed to be looking around, as if searching for an adoring public to show off to. He was as smooth about it as he was about everything else, but it stuck in Rosso's throat for reasons he couldn't pin down. LaDinde did this little search-about in silence for the first minute or so that Rosso was working on his plane, and then he softly stepped closer to the mechanic. "So, M'sieu Rosso. He is quite _le beau avion, n'est-ce pas_?" Rosso grunted in reply. LaDinde puffed up a bit with pride, and took a step closer. "Your 'andiwork... it is to be admired, Rosso. It could be seen anywhere, and recognized, I think."

Rosso did not answer, but LaDinde jumped when a young, female voice rang out in his private hangar.

"Oh, Mr. Rosso, here you are! I've totally been looking, like, sideways and stuff fer you! Hey, Mr. Dandy, what's up?"

LaDinde flinched, and turned to the young blonde woman who was beaming at him cheerfully from beneath an unkempt poof of blonde hair. With a smile that was initially clearly forced, but which quickly smoothed into something more suave, he said, "It is _LaDinde_, Mam'selle McQuack... per'aps you should just call me 'Maurice', _non_?"

The young woman giggled. "'Kaaaay, but if you start speaking of the pompatus of love, I am _totally_ gonna jet." She turned to Rosso. "Mr. Rosso, I totally don't wanna bogart you or anything, but like, my engine's making that weirdo knocking noise again. Next time you have a minute could you come an' take a look?"

Rosso stood up from the plane and answered her directly. "Ees time now. Thees plane, ees perfect. I come look at plane that need me to see it, Mees Loopy."

"Oh, _thanks_, you totally rock!" Loopy clapped her hands together and bounced on her heels a bit as Rosso gathered his tools and joined her in heading for the adjacent hangar where most of the show planes were being kept. LaDinde protested loudly, but Rosso ignored him, and Loopy gave an apologetic shrug and a wave before disappearing through the door.

She made a few idle attempts at chatter as they walked across from LaDinde's hangar into the one her family was using, and then she opened the hood to the engine and pointed out a few things she thought might be contributing to the problem, described the noise, and let him get to work. With that done, she started talking about the afternoon's airshow and what routines she was planning, followed by her excitement at her brother coming to see her and her parents. This was punctuated throughout by her questions about her plane and what he was doing to it.

Unlike with LaDinde, Rosso thought nothing of the interruptions, because Loopy wasn't questioning him as LaDinde had a habit of doing; she was studying him. She had a good head for mechanical work and was in the habit of fixing her own plane, but lately the old engine had started to develop problems and Loopy felt out of her league enough to come repeatedly to Rosso for help.

He was about halfway finished when she checked her watch. "Oh, I gotta, like, cut and run... My big bro is due in any millisecond now and I majorly need to meet him. We'll come by to say hi, 'kay?"

"Ees good, I haf plane done by then," Rosso said gruffly as she patted his shoulder and skipped off. The air in the spot she had vacated still smelled like bubble gum for some time after she was gone.

* * *

Loopy was about thirty feet from the entrance and she could see her brother, standing leisurely with a small group of strangers. "WOOO! HEY, BIG BRO!" she yelled, and broke into a jog. Launchpad looked up, caught her eye, and waved enthusiastically. About five feet from him she took a flying leap and he caught her, barely avoiding being knocked over.

"Oooof! Man, that's not as easy as it used ta be!" he said with a grunt, catching his balance. He gave her a squeeze around the shoulders before putting her down.

"Gettin' old," she said cheerfully, snapping her gum at him.

He made a face at her, then shifted his attention to just over her shoulder. "Oh, hey, there's Mom and Dad."

"Cool! 'Pad, they have been soooo stoked, you have NO idea." She grinned. "How was the flight here? Where'd ya leave the plane?"

"No plane. We drove here. Not too long a trip, either."

"No _plane_? Awww! I wanted to see the Thunder-"

"Loopy!" he said quickly in a low voice, glancing around, "no one's supposed to _know_ about that!"

"OH," she said sheepishly. "Oops!"

"WE all already know," said one of the people with him, a little red-haired girl. "So you didn't spoil any surprises."

The other adult, a brunette with glasses, leaned down to the girl. "Um, Gosalyn, this may be a 'less said the better' situation."

The conversation turned when Loopy and Launchpad's parents joined them. "_Sweetheart!_" said their mother, grabbing his cheeks and pulling him down until they were at eye level. She gazed at him for a moment, beaming, then gave him a very loud kiss.

"Ma," Launchpad said, clearly embarrassed, "c'mon, my friends are here."

"If they think less of you because you love your mother, then they're not very good friends," she answered patiently, patting both his cheeks again. "You look _wonderful_!" She turned her attention to the two kids, as Launchpad straightened up and greeted his father. Birdy knelt just slightly and beamed at the boy and girl. "Now don't tell me... you're Gosalyn Mallard, right?"

"You bet!" chirped the girl. "And this is Honker Muddlefoot!"

Birdy put an arm around each of them and gave them a rather sudden hug. Releasing them both, she said warmly, "It's nice to meet you both! Launchpad writes about you so much, I feel like I've known you for years!"

Honker sniffed. "Um, nice to meet you too, Mrs. McQuack."

"Are you excited to be here?"

"OH yeah! Where do they keep the artillery?" Gosalyn asked excitedly. Birdy laughed, and tousled the girl's hair. "Maybe we'll show you all around in a minute or two." She stood up and turned her unending smile onto the woman, who seemed to try to return it but to have some trouble with keeping it going. "And you must be Beth," said Birdy, her voice filled with a knowing air.

The young woman faltered a little. "Well, if I must I must, but I'd rather be Princess Grace," she said, apparently attempting a joke, and gave a tight chuckle. She held out her hand in a request to shake, but Birdy bypassed it and a moment later was hugging the stuffing out of her. "Oh, um, okay," Beth said.

"Any friend of Launchpad's is a friend of the family!" Birdy said cheerfully when she stepped back. She looked Beth who was at least a full head taller than her up and down, and nodded. "You are just _lovely!_"

"Oh gosh," Beth stammered. She looked awkwardly towards Launchpad, who was in conversation with his father, and then back towards Launchpad's mother. "That that's really nice of you to say, Mrs. McQuack..."

"Dear, call me Birdy." She patted Beth on the shoulder pleasantly, then turned towards the rest of her family. "Ripcord! Leave your son alone and come meet his friends!"

When Launchpad's father was actually standing in front of her, Beth had to fight the urge to cringe, just in case he was as much of a hugger as his wife; he was both taller and wider than Launchpad was. "Nice ta meetcha, little lady!" he drawled, and Beth nodded speechlessly as he reached for her, took her hand, and shook it hard. It only took about two seconds, but she felt breathless when he let her go.

He turned towards the kids, and Honker took a quick step backwards as he swung around to face them. "Well hey little partners... you kids come a long way?"

"Nahhh, we live just on the edge of the city," Gosalyn said airily, evidently the only person not intimidated. Honker nodded meekly. "What about you? Did you fly here from another country?"

"Nope," said Ripcord, grinning.

"Another state?"

"Yep."

"Did you go a thousand miles in like, five minutes?"

"Nope."

"Did you have to refuel?"

"Yep, once."

"Cool! Have you ever flown an X-wing 57?"

While Gosalyn dominated the conversation, Beth breathed a sigh of relief at making it through the introductions so far, and Launchpad nudged Loopy with his elbow. "I thought you said you could keep a secret," he said in a low voice.

"Sheesh, like, I figured they must've known! I mean, like, isn't the girl his daughter and junk?"

"Yeah, _she_ is, but Honker's no relation, an' Beth..."

"Pffft," Loopy snorted softly. "You can tell that little boy knows everything about everything. An' as for her, I just figured, _you've_ never been able to keep secrets from the girls you've been sweet on."

"_Loopy!_" This time he punched her on her shoulder, just hard enough to make her scoff loudly and rub at the spot.

"Omigod, OW! Big jerk!" She laughed and smacked him back, and this escalated until their mother shot them a chiding glance and a quick "Kids, stop that!"

When their mother had turned her attention away again, Launchpad asked quietly, "You didn't tell Mom and Dad, though, didja?"

"Duh! Because I am just that big a blabbermouth, huh?"

"Just checkin'. I mean, I know you guys are close, it's just... I dunno, the whole secret identity thing..."

"No problemo," Loopy said, and patted his arm. "They are totally out to lunch on that one. Hi!" she finished, sounding eager and perky, and Launchpad blinked in confusion until from behind him, Beth gave an almost equally lively "Hi!" in response.

He turned and grinned at her. "So, yeah, this's my family. You met Mom an' Dad, and this's Loopy, my kid sister."

"Nice to meet you," said Beth, and Launchpad was pretty sure he was the only one who could pick up on how hard she was pushing herself to appear confident. She stuck her hand out and Loopy took it and shook it. "Your parents are really sweet."

"Aw, thanks!" said Loopy, and snapped her gum. "They're totally about running my business, though. I mean, whatever, like I'm NOT already over 20?"

"Well, I guess all parents are like that," said Beth. "You should hear some of the stories about _my_ mom."

"Omigod, we should _totally_ dish about that! Are you the youngest in your fam too?"

"Oh no, I'm the middle one. Um, but I was the youngest for _years_ - I was fifteen when my younger brother was born, so I guess it still counts..."

Loopy laughed. "I seriously think they let the older ones go do their own stuff and it's, like, just us little squirts they pick on."

"'Little squirts'?" Beth asked, sounding amused.

"Y'know, relatively speaking."

The various conversations were all interrupted at once when a sharp, accented voice cut through the chatter. "'Allo! Mam'selle Loopee, I need information!"

Loopy rolled her eyes briefly and then turned to face LaDinde, a big grin on her face. "Oh hey! Like, what's up, Chuck?"

The French turkey forced a smile. "Aha... I have told you, you should call me... Maurice..." He slowed to a stop when he saw the people she was standing beside, and a moment later his eyebrows drew together. Loopy looked back at both her brother and his friend to see if either one knew what was bringing in this reaction, but they both looked merely confused.

"Oh, hello, Mr. LaDandy!" Birdy chirped, and LaDinde gave a start and then turned to her, looking puzzled. "Excited for the show this afternoon?"

Recovering, LaDinde gave a quick laugh. "LaDinde, Madame McQuack. But, I apologize... I should have instructed you all by now to simply call me, Maurice."

Ripcord gave a friendly laugh. "Well, does that mean you speak the pompatus of love?"

LaDinde made a confused noise and Birdy groaned, while Loopy muttered, "Beat ya to that one, Dad." Launchpad chuckled. Gosalyn and Honker looked at him, then at Beth, who shrugged her shoulders and looked mystified along with them.

"Heck, where're my manners?" Ripcord indicated the visitors with one large hand. "Maurice, this here's my son Launchpad an' his friends; they all live in St. Canard an' came by to watch us fly today. Launchpad, Maurice LaDinde here is a pro stunt pilot from overseas."

"Nice to meetcha!" Launchpad said, stepping forward with his hand outstretched.

LaDinde hesitated for the tiniest moment, his eyes searching Launchpad's face, before accepting the handshake. "Pleasure is mine," he said quietly, and then unexpectedly renewed the energy behind the handshake. "Indeed you must forgive me, M'sieu. I am _c'est quoi, le mot_ I am _occupe_, my mind is elsewhere, you see I am looking for ze mechanic but, _pas de quoi_. I am being rude. A true pleasure to meet you, M'sieu McQuack."

"Aw, call me Launchpad," was the reply.

"_Mais oui,_" LaDinde agreed. He shifted his attention to just behind Launchpad, where Beth stood. "But who is zis lovely vision?"

Beth, caught completely off-guard, actually went as far as to look behind her before meeting his eyes. "Um m-me? I... I'm Beth..." She offered her hand as well, but with a slight pause midway through the movement, as if she wasn't sure she was doing it the right way.

"_Enchante_," said LaDinde, pushing past Launchpad to take her hand in his own. Once he held it, he turned it and gave the back a lingering kiss. Beth giggled lightly.

Loopy caught sight of the look on her brother's face, and tugged him backwards to say quietly, "Chill _out_, big bro. That's, like, just how they are in France."

"Yeah?" answered Launchpad, his voice so low it was almost a growl. The surprise on his face had given way to a decidedly less friendly expression than he'd worn a moment ago, and now he narrowed his eyes, never taking them off of LaDinde. "Well, he's got about five seconds to stop bein' so French."

LaDinde didn't take five seconds to stop kissing Beth's hand, but he didn't release it from his grasp right away either, and Loopy could tell that was the only thing Launchpad was paying attention to. "And what is such a lovely young lady doing here, among all of us ruffians?"

"Oh um, gee... I-I'm here with, well-" She gestured at Launchpad, her face more than slightly flushed, and said, "I'm just here with my friend to see his family fly in the show... These are Gosalyn Mallard and Honker Muddlefoot." She finished by indicating the kids, who both waved politely.

Launchpad was at her side in two steps, and put his arm around her shoulders as he smiled tightly at LaDinde. "Yep, so we're here together."

"Oh, I apologize," LaDinde said, letting go of Beth's hand at last and taking a step backwards, "I did not realize you two were..."

The moment became even more awkward when Beth chimed in, "Oh no, we're not! We're just friends." She smiled at LaDinde, then her smile turned slightly apologetic as she looked up at Launchpad.

Launchpad, whose own smile didn't quite disappear, nodded. "Yep. Here together as friends," he echoed.

Loopy felt obliged to rescue everyone as well as she could, so she stepped forward and grabbed Beth's arm, pulling her away from both men. "Which is just so totally awesome, too! Y'know Beth we should totally go shopping, like, to get to know each other?"

"Oh? R-really?" Beth looked surprised, and behind her, Launchpad stared daggers at LaDinde as the turkey smiled back, apparently not noticing. "Isn't this... um... kind of far away from any stores?"

"They have a souvenir shop, girl," Loopy laughed.

Birdie stooped slightly to reach eye-level with Gosalyn and Honker, and said, "Would you two like a tour of the air field before the show? We'd sure love to let you look at everything up close, without a crowd."

"Keen gear! Honker and I would LOVE that!" Gosalyn yelped.

Ripcord, meanwhile, thumped LaDinde on the back. "Well, glad ya came by just now, Maurice we gotta get goin' so we've got some time to spend with the kids before the show, but I'm sure we'll meet up again later!"

"But of course," LaDinde said, his tone aloof. "It is more zan likely zat we will run into one another again... perhaps several times. _Au revoir_, M'sieur McQuack." He saluted, the gesture apparently aimed vaguely someplace in between Ripcord and Launchpad, and then departed.

Ripcord now patted his son on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it, son," he said.

Launchpad, his eyes on Beth as she was led away by his younger sister, laughed uneasily. "Don't worry about what? Say, I guess that guy's gonna fly later?"

"Yep, he'll go on a little before we do. Usually pretty popular with the crowd."

"I bet," muttered Launchpad. He let his father lead him away, following Birdie as she walked with Gosalyn and Honker, and a short distance away Maurice LaDinde watched them go.

When they were out of sight he tucked himself into an alcove, his back against the wall, and kept his eyes up and on the alert as he pulled out a tiny communicator from his pocket.

After pressing several keys, he spoke into it. "'Allo? 'Allo! Agent LaDinde calling for F.O.W.L., 'oo is responding?"

There was some fuzz on the other end, and then a bored female voice answered, "F.O.W.L. here... we have no records of an Agent LaDan, please try again."

"La_Dinde_," the pilot corrected her with a snarl; after a pause she spoke again.

"Sorry, there is no record of such an Agent. This call will be reported to-"

"'Oo is thees? Which division?" he interrupted impatiently. "I am calling for ze _Foreign_ Organization for World Larceny, not ze _Fiendish_ Organization."

"Okay. Please hold, I'll transfer you," said the woman, sounding even more bored than before. There was a click.

Annoyed, LaDinde muttered, "Zese stupid corporate mergers. _C'est incroyable, quelle stupide_..."

With another click, a new voice answered. "Yez, theez eez an ordeenary laundromat, vhat you vant?"

"The milkmaid 'as left two buckets today," he answered, relieved at finally being in a situation that made sense.

"Agent LaDinde," said the voice, "hold pleez, I connect you." One more click, a brief pause, and then he was on the line with the head of his division.

"Yes, Agent, report."

"Ze mission is progressing well," he said sharply, "ze object is within range and my plan is so far undetected. In a few more hours, we will 'ave our property back in our 'ands."

"Excellent. Anything more?"

"Er... well..." He hesitated, then answered. "Zere eez a DIA agent 'ere. I recognized 'im from 'is file: Agent Double-O Duck."

"Double-O Duck," the other voice said musingly. "He hasn't been active in the field in years. We'd lost track of him. Are you sure it's him?"

"_Oui, mon capitan_. 'E looks just as 'e did in 'is file photo: identical to Agent Von Beak, only... stupider." LaDinde rolled his eyes.

"Well, well. Did he recognize you?"

"Ah, non. I do not think 'e 'as, er, kept up with our activities."

"Very good. Agent LaDinde, your mission is now expanded to include this unexpected opportunity. You will still pick up our missing goods, but you are hereby also assigned to terminate Double-O Duck. Failure will mean your own termination. Acknowledge."

"I " LaDinde stifled a curse they weren't even going to send any backup? - then recovered. "Yes, sir. I acknowledge. By ze end of ze day, Double-O Duck will be... 'ow do you say... annihilated."


	3. Act II, Chapter 1

**Those Daring McQuacks in Their Flying Machines  
>by Zebeckras<strong>

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><p><em>AN: Ugh, this chapter took me forever. I had to rewrite it like five times and I'm still not happy with it. I just need to get it out so I can move on with the story._

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><p><span>Act II, chapter 1<span>

Beth couldn't deny that she'd been nervous about "shopping" with Launchpad's sister. Not that the blonde didn't appear friendly, but being alone with a stranger in the first place always put her on edge. It was worse when the stranger was the sister of your close friend and you had no idea what she'd heard about you.

But Loopy was as friendly as she appeared to be, and chatty as well. Incredibly chatty. She had an idiosyncratic way of speaking that Beth had only heard in a couple of movies, and everything she said was so peppered with "like" and "y'know" and other verbal white noise that it seemed to take her twice as long to get through things. Beth took the opportunity to let Loopy talk, since so often in a conversation she was the only one who seemed to want to say anything, and tried to tune out the extra words to get to the point of what Loopy said.

They'd found a souvenir cart off to the side of the air field, near the parking lot, and although Beth had at first given it a once-over and decided there wasn't anything she was interested in, Loopy had thrown herself in up to her elbows and thoroughly examined every corner and case in the cart. She did this while talking nonstop, about pretty much everything: how long she'd been flying, how much she liked it, what her parents had done before she was old enough to fly in their show, how her parents had met, what cities they'd been to on this particular show tour, and a lot more.

Beth was astounded by the amount of information that was coming out as Loopy simultaneously examined souvenirs in-depth. Finally the conversation took a right turn and came to a screeching halt, when Loopy asked, "So like, what's the sitch with you an' Launchpad anyway?"

Oh, crud. "Um, I, um, what? I-I'm not sure what you..." She cringed a little, but went ahead and bit the bullet. "Launchpad and I, we, um, we - we're good friends - well - look, I don't actually know what he's told you or anything and so I guess there's room for confusion, b-but, well, we're just good friends. Really, I mean, he's an absolute dear and I think he's great but our relationship is totally platonic-"

Loopy was nodding, but her eyes were widened as if she was a little taken by surprise. "Uh, sure, okay. Yeah, he told me all that, so I just wondered like, how you met and junk."

"Oh. OH. Gosh, I-I'm sorry, I... well, look, I guess I've just been wondering just WHAT everyone thought of me, and you know, things can be so complicated and-"

"No problemo!" Loopy said, which gave Beth pause, because other than Launchpad she'd never actually _heard_ anyone say that out loud. Apparently it was a family saying. "Like, wow, I totally didn't mean to make you freak out... I am _totally_ in shameville, fer sure! But like, why're you worried about what we'd think of you? Everything Big Bro says about you is _way_ on the plus side."

"N-no, I'm not... that's what what worries me." She laughed. "I guess I'm worked up over nothing. I-I... well... I just don't know what he's... _told_ you."

"He tells me everything," Loopy said, and smiled.

Beth hesitated. "Okay, well - when you say 'everything', do you know for sure-"

Loopy came closer and lowered her voice. "He tells me _everything_. I don't know what he tells _you_, so I don't wanna betray any confidences, but if you're wondering about like, a conversation or anything that happened between you guys..." She grinned slyly, "Or any confessions an' super-long visits to parents an' long car rides home? Yeah, I know about all that. It's like, totally cool, Beth. He says you're just friends, so we all know you're just friends."

The conversation was at once a relief and also moderately horrifying. Beth found she had to force herself to move again and answer. "...Oh...? Um... well... that's... D-does he tell, um, your parents...?"

"Oh, they get the screen version. I get the director's cut. The ending's the same though." Seeing Beth's perplexed look, she giggled. "I just mean, like, he talks about you in his letters but he's never said anything obvious. An' he told 'em about fifteen times that you two are buds and that's it, so no worries."

"Oh." Again, Beth felt a flood of almost-but-not-quite relief, though it was stronger than it had been. "Well, that's... good."

"Just be chill around 'em, okay? They won't ask any awkward questions - Okay, well, Mom thinks she's overdue for grandkids so she might drop a few hints, but like, just pretend you don't know what she means." She patted Beth on the shoulder reassuringly.

"Okay," Beth said shakily, grateful for the understanding. The sense of relief finally grew strong enough to overpower her anxiety, and she smiled a little; Loopy showed every sign of genuinely not minding that Beth had rejected her older brother on more than one occasion. Although... "Um, one thing - you know, if Launchpad tells you everything, why'd you need to ask _me_ how we met? Didn't he tell you that?"

Loopy looked a little surprised, then sheepish. "Well - like, y'know..." She shrugged, and grinned innocently. "Heh, caught me. I kinda might've said that just to see how you'd react. But I totally didn't know it'd make you all wonky, like, honest!" she said quickly.

Beth sighed. "Um, that's... okay," she said, and dedicated her mind to changing the subject. She came up with, "So Launchpad tells you everything? You two must be really close."

"Like, pretty much yeah, y'know? He's just super-cool to talk to. Maybe it's easier 'cause we're not around each other in person too much, I dunno." She seemed fine with the change of subject, which was another great relief to Beth.

"There's a pretty big age difference between you guys, right?"

"Yeah, 'bout eight years. An' of course I was only like seven when he left, so we weren't all that close back then but I just totally idolized him, for real."

"Yeah..." Beth tried picturing them both at those ages, and smiled. Then she frowned slightly. "Left?"

"Right. When he was fifteen. Y'know?" There was a long moment of blank silence during which they looked at one another and blinked, unable to fully comprehend the other. Then Loopy said, "He did, like, _tell_ you an' all, right?"

"Um..." She really didn't think he had, but maybe...? Beth wracked her brains for what Loopy might be referring to, and any sense of familiarity. Launchpad at fifteen... Launchpad's history without his family... She didn't actually know much of it, she realized.

Loopy obviously realized this. "He bailed before he was sixteen. Y'know, like, ran away? From home?"

"But-" Her mind reeled at this information - Launchpad's family seemed so close-knit, so _stable_, what possible reason could he have had to leave it? "But, but why..?"

"_Oh_," Loopy said, sighing melodramatically and replacing the program book in the stack she'd taken it from, "_such_ a long story. Uh, wow, short version... 'Kay, like, y'know his whole crashing-every-plane-ever thing? Well, back when 'Pad was in the Flying McQuacks, every other show got called midway through 'cause he'd crash. An' he totally blamed himself an' well, y'know how he is when he thinks he's a failure, right? TOTAL overreaction city. So instead of just practicing more or goin' to the parental units for help, he just took off."

Beth didn't manage to say the things that popped into her head - Loopy's assumptions that she knew things about Launchpad that were apparently obvious, like his history of crashing or how he got when he was upset, stumped her. She'd never seen _any_ sign of these things from Launchpad - although now that she thought about it, it wasn't as if she'd seen him fly very often and it _did_ explain some of his driving habits - and more than anything it gave her the sense that she didn't know him nearly as well as she thought she did. But she couldn't ask about them, because Loopy was just barreling ahead with more and more new information.

"_Any_way," the blonde continued, snapping her gum, "we didn't even hear ANYthing from him for, like, a hundred years. Then after a couple of months Mom and Dad got this letter from him that was all 'I'm fine, I got a job, don't look for me'. And then about a week later _I_ got a letter with all this extra info like where he was and how to reach him, but he just about _begged_ me not to tell the 'rents unless it was an emergency. An' they were kind of chilling once they heard from him, so things kinda calmed down an' we just kept writing. The end." She beamed, and turned her attention to a rack of scarfs.

"Oh." That was it. She absolutely did _not_ know _anything_ about Launchpad, and she felt a little shell-shocked. "Wow. Gosh. H-how long was it until he came back?"

Loopy cocked her head, looking completely at ease. "Oh, he never did come back." She shook her head and the fluffy hair that escaped in all directions from under her flightcap flew about her face. "No, we didn't see him again for like... ummmm it was totally about seven years, I think. Yeah, seven, at the Duckburg airshow when I was fourteen." She picked up a flightcap and eyed it critically, then looked at Beth. Then she leaned forward confidentially. "Hey. Can I ask you something?"

"Um... sure?"

Loopy grinned happily. "Is he like, totally Mr. Chivalry with you or WHAT? 'Cause when_ever_ he'd fall for a girl when he was younger he'd write me and he was just _nuts_, he just like, idealizes them. It's hilarious." She noticed Beth's expression, and blinked innocently. "Somethin' I said?"

* * *

><p>"How fast can this one go?" Gosalyn asked, pointing at a fancy-looking jet that was parked near a runway.<p>

"You'll see later," Ripcord answered her. "That one's handled by Bill Barkley, an old pal'a mine."

"Can it break the sound barrier?"

"Well, no, don't think so..."

"Have you ever flown a plane that could break the sound barrier?"

Ripcord smiled. "We don't do a lotta that kinda flyin', li'l lady."

Gosalyn frowned for a moment, putting her finger to her chin, then brightened. "Any advanced weaponry?"

Some feet away from the discussion, Launchpad leaned against the wall of a hanger and brooded uncharacteristically. He knew he shouldn't let the whole thing with LaDinde bother him. The guy was just being friendly, in that French kind of way. Did _Beth_ know he was just being friendly...? Well, it didn't matter. She wasn't interested in meeting guys anyway.

Besides, they probably wouldn't even see him again. LaDinde was going to be busy getting his plane ready, then flying his routine. They'd barely cross paths with him again, most likely. And if they did, Launchpad could just punch him in the beak.

No, no, he'd never do that. There was no reason for it anyway. He was completely overreacting over one little kiss on the hand. And of course Beth wouldn't be interested in a guy like that. What would she see in him? He was just some suave, super-cool, reasonably handsome, semi-famous hotshot pilot with a great career and a reputation that preceded him.

Oh, and he was French.

Launchpad groaned and put his hand over his eyes.

"Do you need an aspirin, dear?"

"Huh?" Launchpad turned to see his mother smiling up at him. "Oh, nah, I'm good."

"Are you sure? I always have some with me... let me just find them..." She began to root through a patchwork purse.

He smiled ruefully. "Ma, it's really okay."

She ignored him. "Your young lady is just _darling_," she said into her bag.

"She's not really my lady," he answered, rolling his eyes. "We're just friends. Remember?"

Birdie looked up from her bag to give him a knowing grin. "Oh, I remember, but I can see how you two look at each other. You know, the best marriages start out as friendships."

"Ma, c'mon," he said uncomfortably, pretty certain he was turning pink. Nothing was worse than having your mother grill you on relationships. Now he was starting to wish he hadn't mentioned Beth as often as he had - of course, when he'd first started talking about her, he'd thought they'd be together by this point... but, he still should've known better. Even though he'd never explicitly said to his parents that he was in love with Beth, he'd probably been obvious enough that they'd figured it out. His mother, still smiling, went back to her bag. "Look, just... do me a favour an' don't ask Beth a ton of questions, okay?"

"Ohhh," she said, disappointment in her voice, "just one or two?"

"Only if they're not about kids."

She chuckled. "You and Loopy paint me as an obsessive old Gramma-wannabe-" She stopped as her hand slipped and her bag fell to the grass. "Oh, rats."

"Here, I got it," Launchpad said, and stooped to pick up the purse and its contents. Above his head there was an odd "swish" followed by a distinct THWACK, and when he looked back up, clutching the bottle of aspirin and a few other things, there was a stick waving on the wall where he'd been standing. "What the heck-?"

He stood up to look at it, and his mother peered up as well. It was approximately level with his head. "Goodness, sweetheart, that looks like an arrow!"

Launchpad poked it with his finger and it wobbled a little. "Yeah, sure does. Wonder where that came from?"

The noise the arrow had made on impact with the hangar's wall had attracted Gosalyn and Honker's attention, and Ripcord was following them over now. Gosalyn eyed the arrow critically. "Huh. Looks like your standard one-eighth-inch shaft - from the impact I'm guessing it's not a rubber-tip though."

"Sure know your arrows, kid!" Ripcord said, sounding impressed.

"Uh, yeah, archery's kinda a hobby of mine!" Gosalyn said with a chuckle. "Honker, can you tell where it came from?"

"Well," said Honker, who was craning his neck up at the embedded projectile, "based on the angle and the velocity I'd estimate it's from those woods back there -" He pointed over his shoulder - "but that's not taking wind resistance into account. I'll need to check some calculations to be sure." He pulled out a calculator and fell silent, poking at the buttons.

"Heh, weird day to play with arrows!" Launchpad said. He tugged at the shaft but it was stuck pretty tight. "They could - urgh - put somebody's eye out!"

"Yeah, right out the other side of their head," Gosalyn speculated. She turned, and saw a disgruntled-looking turkey approaching them from the direction of the woods. "Oh hey, Maurice! Can we ask you something?"

LaDinde stopped walking abruptly and stared down at her angrily for a moment before he recovered himself. "Ahaha... I am sorry, leetle girl, but I cannot give an autograph just now. I am very busy."

"Actually, I just wondered if you'd seen anyone with an archery bow back that way." She turned to point in the direction he'd been coming from, and continued, "Honker thinks somebody shot an arrow from back there and we're trying to figure out who-" When she turned back, LaDinde had gone and she was addressing thin air. "Geez, and Dad says _my_ attention span is bad," she muttered, and walked back to Launchpad and his family.

When she got there, Ripcord and Launchpad had managed to pry the arrow out of the wall. There was nothing about it that was noteworthy except that it had been aimed directly at Launchpad's head. Launchpad was wondering what to do with it. "D'you think we should take it to the Lost and Found?"

"That's not a bad idea, sweetie. I'm sure those arrows cost enough money that you don't really want to lose too many!"

"Well, they oughta play more carefully then!" Ripcord suggested. "If some kid's gonna let his arrows fly off any ol' which way, he doesn't need ta get 'em back!"

"I dunno," Launchpad said, scratching his head and regarding the arrow in his hand. "Seems to me these archery sets aren't cheap - the kid's parents'd probably wanna get this back..." He started forward, looking left and right as if checking for the Lost and Found tent. He'd taken no more than three steps before there was another "swishTHUNK" behind him, this one accompanied by the sound of something breaking. He turned around, as did his parents, Honker, and Gosalyn. The whole group stared at the heavy flowerpot that was half-buried in the dirt where he'd been standing moments before. Then, as one, they all looked up to the roof of the hangar. There was nothing there.

"That's... weird," Gosalyn said.

"My stars, who would leave a huge flowerpot like that on top of a plane hangar?" Birdie wondered aloud, still staring up at the roof. Launchpad, Honker and Gosalyn all knelt to look at the broken pot, and after a moment, Ripcord joined them.

"Does this mean anything ta you, son?" he asked.

Launchpad shrugged. "Bad day for gardening?"

Gosalyn eyed him. "This doesn't seem just the littlest bit suspicious to you, Launchpad? I mean, in the past five minutes you've nearly been killed twice." Honker looked at her in shock, and Ripcord looked concerned, but Launchpad just chuckled.

"Heh, just my luck, I guess." He tousled her hair, and stood up. "Naaah, probably just coincidence! Besides, how could a flowerpot _not_ fall off a hangar roof?" He pointed upwards at the clearly sloping roof, as if this was an explanation that made sense, and that seemed to be the end of it.

Gosalyn beckoned to Honker, and he followed her around the side of the building. "Honk, something's going on here. I'd bet my 'Behind-the-Scenes' pass to this airshow on it!"

"I - I don't know, Gosalyn," Honker said uncertainly. "I mean, I agree that these events are statistically improbable, but there's no _reason_ someone would be going after Launchpad!"

"That we _know_ of," Gosalyn said ominously. She looked away from Honker when she saw movement a ways behind him, and blinked to see Maurice LaDinde lowering himself down a ladder from the hangar roof.

The hangar roof...?

She ran up to LaDinde as he set his feet on the ground, and smiled sweetly, taking a more polite approach this time. "Gee, Mr. LaDinde, were you up on the roof?"

He all but jumped, and there was clear frustration in his eyes when he recognized her. "I - er - _oui, ma petite_, I needed to - er - check the weather from above."

"You didn't happen to see anyone _else_ up there, did you? 'Cause, see, the funniest things keep happening..."

"I really do not have the _time_ for thees, _cherie_," he said impatiently, patting her on the head. "See me later and I will personally geeve you the greatest autograph you 'ave ever received." And with that he stalked off the direction opposite the Flying McQuacks.

Gosalyn waited until he was gone, then turned to Honker frantically. "Did you _see_ that? That turkey guy is trying to take out Launchpad!"

"Um, what? Wait, Gosalyn, there's no reason to assume-"

"Are you kidding, Honk? There's EVERY reason to assume! We need to tell Launchpad about this right now!" She took off at a run.

Launchpad was laughing with his parents when she reached him, and she had to tug at his sleeve to get his attention. "Oh, hey Gos. What's up?"

"Uh, Launchpad, can I talk to you real quick..?"

He looked confused. "Sure...?"

"Over there?" She indicated a few feet away. Still looking confused, he let her lead him out of earshot of his parents. "Look, I can't say this in front of them 'cause I thought maybe they might be his buddies, but I have a bad feeling about that Maurice LaDinde guy."

Launchpad immediately grew serious. "Me too!" he said, bending down to her eye level.

"Oh, man, am I glad to hear you say that! Honker said I was imagining things, but I'm sure we can't trust him."

Nodding, Launchpad said, "He gives me the creeps. I'm thinkin' maybe that French accent is a fake, too."

"You think he's not even French? Interesting," Gosalyn said, cupping her chin in her hand and pondering this.

"You think he's just movin' in on Beth for kicks or d'you think he's gonna hurt her?"

"Huh?" This derailed Gosalyn for a moment. "No, I think he's trying to hurt _you_."

Launchpad cocked his head and frowned in confusion. "You think he's tryin' to get me outta the way so he can _get_ at Beth?"

"What? Where's this stuff about Beth coming from?" They looked at each other in incomprehension for a moment longer, and then Gosalyn said, "I think he's the one trying to _kill you_, Launchpad."

"Whoa, wait, who's tryin' to kill someone?" Launchpad straightened up and shook his head. "That's a pretty big accusation, Gos!"

"Yeah, I know, but - you gotta listen to the evidence! First he was walking this way from the direction that arrow came from, and then, after that flowerpot almost hit you, I saw him climbing down from the roof!"

For a moment, Launchpad was clearly considering this. Then he shook his head. "Naaah. Look, I know sometimes when ya don't like someone, it's easy to think they're up to no good. But we can't do that just 'cause we don't get along with somebody! You gotta give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm sure he's a perfectly nice guy, even if he is fakin' the French thing."

"But..."

He smiled, and patted Gosalyn on her shoulder. "Thanks for worryin' about me, though!"

"Aw..." She said as he started back towards his parents, "shoot."

Undeterred, she pulled Honker aside and informed him of Launchpad's reaction. "Well," he said rationally, "you really _don't_ have any evidence, Gosalyn. I mean, why would he try to kill a pilot he just met today?"

"I don't know. You've got a point." She frowned, then sighed and shrugged. "I guess the only thing we can do is stick tight to Launchpad so we can catch that guy in the act!"


	4. Act II, Chapter 2

**Those Daring McQuacks in their Flying Machines  
>by Zebeckras<strong>

* * *

><p><span>Act II chapter 2<span>

Although Beth had intended to do her best to rejoin the Flying McQuacks and company discreetly, Loopy felt a need to announce their return, and did it with gusto. "Like hiiii, guys! We are back and shopping totally occurred!"

Beth cringed slightly, feeling conspicuous in her sole purchase. Loopy had somehow managed to pick out two bags' worth of souvenirs - granted, they were small bags, but still it was impressive. She'd been adamant that Beth get just _one_ thing she wouldn't normally get; in fact, she'd made Beth promise to buy whatever one thing she picked out, sight unseen.

And that was how Beth ended up wearing a flight cap at an airshow while spending the day with a family of professional pilots. She felt like a wannabe, but Loopy was just too _nice_ for her to let herself take it off. If Loopy took it the wrong way and her feelings got hurt - which, granted, didn't seem likely since the young lady was positively bubbly with exuberance - well, Beth would feel too guilty in any case. Maybe she could take it off in a little while and claim it was making her head itch or something.

"Helloooo, sweetheart!" Birdy called, making her way over to her daughter. She stopped and took in the sight of the souvenir bags, and then shook her head with a smile. "I'm so glad to see you didn't go overboard."

"Mom, every single thing in these bags is totally rad, so like, don't freak, 'kay?" She rushed off towards her father.

Birdy didn't respond, but turned straight to Beth and beamed at her. "Oh Beth, did you just buy that hat?"

"Oh - um - yes, it... well Loopy suggested..." She hunched her shoulders self-consciously.

"You look _darling_! Such a natural look for you!" Birdy appeared to be delighted, which was itself almost embarrassing because Beth couldn't tell what, exactly, she was thinking. "We haven't really had a chance to speak much yet... And I've really been looking forward to meeting you for so long now."

Oh, lord. Beth mentally crossed her fingers that this wasn't going to go the way she thought it probably was. "...Oh? I-I mean, well, it's really so nice to have this opportunity - I've known Launchpad for quite a while now, so... Um, and Loopy is just so sweet."

"I'm so thrilled that you think so!" Birdy patted Beth's shoulder, beaming, then followed it up with, "And you know, I can tell that you're a great influence on Launchpad. He obviously just dotes on you."

"Uh-huh..." Beth looked around, trying not to be obvious about looking for an escape. Launchpad was facing away from her, talking to his father and his sister, and Gosalyn and Honker were talking closely about something. "He's a great friend..." she added in the hopes that this would shutter the conversation.

Birdy took the compliment almost as if it was aimed at her. "He's always been a darling boy," she said happily. "Would you like to see some pictures? I always keep a walletful on me." She stuck her hand into her bag and rooted around.

"Huh? I mean - oh no, that's really not..."

"Here we are!" Birdy sang, pulling out a thick folded grouping of photos. "Here's Launchpad's first crash. He was _so tiny!_"

Beth blinked and stopped protesting. She threw a quick, guilty glance at Launchpad, found he was still facing away from her, and decided she could spare a few minutes looking over his baby photos. As long as it made his mother happy...

* * *

><p>"An arrow? Wow, Bro, that's... different," said Loopy. Ripcord handed her the arrow that they'd finally pulled out of the wall, and she looked at it with what was either careful study or else total indifference. Loopy's expressions tended to run together at times, unless she was expressing her excitement over something. "Yeah, like, that is totally an arrow all right."<p>

"That's what we thought," said Ripcord, taking it back and studying it again.

Loopy caught her brother's eye and raised an eyebrow. "Y'know, it's like, too bad we don't have a superhero around, or some junk. Bet we'd have no probs figuring this out then."

with a very slight glare, Launchpad said, "I don't think we need a superhero to figure out where to send a lost arrow, Loopy."

"Oh, sure. Totally right, I guess." She shrugged, a quiet smile on her face.

"Anyway son - I meant ta suggest this earlier..." Ripcord put a hand solidly on his son's shoulders, which was enough of an impact to make Launchpad stagger slightly. "You oughta think about comin' up with us in the show. Like old times!"

"Aw, nah, that's okay. I don't even know the routine you guys're gonna do."

Loopy shrugged. "Pretty much what we used to do, actually. C'mon, it'd be a great way to show off!" She winked.

Launchpad considered it for a moment, then shook his head. "That's not why I came, guys. Thanks, but no thanks. I just wanted to let the kids see ya flyin' and get a behind-the-scenes tour."

"Uh-huh," Loopy said knowingly. Launchpad swatted her in the arm and tried to make it look like an accidental muscle spasm.

Several feet away and out of sight, Maurice LaDinde leaned against a wall and eavesdropped. He wondered if this new information could help his efforts. If his target went up in a plane, and the plane unexpectedly crashed, that might well be the perfect assassination. All kinds of accidents could happen with faulty equipment, after all... Although, of course, if Launchpad McQuack was well known for his perfect flight record then an unexplained crash might prompt investigation. Still, it was worth considering; he would make his next attempt, and if that didn't work out, revisit this idea.

He made his exit and headed for the area that was housing the battle jets, taking no notice of the pair of ten-year-olds with their eyes trained on him.

Launchpad, meanwhile, turned around to see his mother and Beth standing close together and staring at something. It looked ominous somehow. "What're they lookin' at...?" he asked warily.

"If I know your Mom," Ripcord said, "those'd be the baby pictures she whips out an' shows everyone she meets."

Whirling back to face his father, Launchpad blanched. "_My_ baby pictures?" Ripcord nodded, and Loopy giggled. Launchpad was already moving. "Maaaaaaa!"

When he got there, Birdy stopped and smiled up at him sweetly while Beth looked up at him with a guilty look on her face. "Yes sweetie?" his mother asked innocently.

"What're you guys -" Yep. Pictures. He grit his teeth. "Awww, Beth doesn't wanna see _those_," he said forcefully.

"Oh, we were just reminiscing. You were _such_ a sweet little boy." Birdy reached up and patted his cheek. "And some things never change!"

"MA, really, for the last _time_..."

Catching the look on his face, Birdy smiled widely. "Oh goodness, it's getting close to our pre-show practice run! I need to go talk with your father, sweetheart, excuse me!" She hurried off in the other direction.

Beth was looking at him apologetically, but now he could see that she was also trying to hold in some kind of reaction. He sighed. "What."

She put her hands to her mouth and giggled. "You were so CUTE!" Launchpad groaned and put his hands over his face, feeling it growing warm as he turned red. "I'm sorry - really - but you were _adorable!_"

Well... maybe this wasn't _so_ bad. He regarded her out of one eye. "Adorable, huh?"

"Absolutely _precious_." She giggled again. "Such huge eyes and all that hair and... and you crashed _everything_."

"Aw, geez."

"She has at least ten pictures of you in a wreck and you're always giving this thumbs-up sign..."

"I started doin' that before I learned to talk."

"Awwwwww!" Beth at least sounded sincere when she squealed. There had to be a less humiliating way to bask in her appreciation, though.

"I gotta find a way to get those photos away from her," he said in a low voice. He decided to change the subject as Beth protested with more giggles. "So. Nice hat."

That got the giggling to die down, which was sort of a shame, he thought. "Oh. Loopy's idea. I feel like a dork - um... not because of the style, but - I mean, I'm _not_ a pilot..."

"It looks nice on you." Actually, it looked adorable. He wondered if he could get away with telling her that.

She blushed and shrugged. "She picked it out. It's really not me-"

He shook his head. "It's totally you! It's a great look." The way she had it on, it was covering about half of her bangs and the rest were poking out from underneath, half-flattened down her head. He supposed she thought it looked silly, but he found the effect very becoming. "You should put the goggles down."

"Har de har. I'll wear this until the show starts and take it off when she can't see me."

Awww. "Well, suit yourself. Oh, speakin' of which, we should get the kids together an' go watch my family do their practice run - it's always-"

Beth put a hand on his arm. "Do you hear something? A kind of a - a whistling?"

He stopped and listened; he did hear a whistling. And a sort of a rushing sound. "Yeah... I wonder what-"

Before he could finish, Beth had grabbed him by the scarf and pulled him to the ground. Too surprised to resist, he went down like a sack of rocks, and a second later something whizzed over their heads. This was followed by a loud blast a short distance off. In front of them, Loopy yelled, "OmiGAWD, the souvenir cart just blew up!"

He looked down at Beth, who had his scarf clenched in both hands and was still tugging anxiously with her eyes squeezed shut. He detached one of her hands and held it in his own. "Uh... thanks."

"No problemo," she said weakly as he helped her to her feet. "Th-that was a missile...!"

They looked behind them to the source of the explosion. Sure enough, the closest souvenir cart was in shambles, with a bit of flaming debris off to one side. Beth blanched as she looked at it. "What the heck..." Launchpad began, as a staff coordinator he hadn't met came running up to them.

"Is everyone here OK?" he asked, half in a panic. "Apparently there was a bug in the X-25's system and the one of the missiles was spontaneously launched. We didn't even know it was armed!" He turned defensively to all of the Flying McQuacks, clearly upset, and said, "It - it _shouldn't_ have been armed! I-I don't know what..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "I need to make sure nobody was hit over there... everyone here's fine, then?"

They assured him that they were, and everyone crowded around Launchpad to check him over. Beth hung off his arm the entire time.

* * *

><p>The practice section of the airfield was back from where the show would take place, and it was a walk to get there. Beth kept clinging to Launchpad skittishly, which seemed to make pretty much everyone happy, so Gosalyn and Honker were largely ignored. Gosalyn took the opportunity to push her case.<p>

"It's not _normal_ to almost be killed three times in one day, Honk."

"Well... okay, that's true, but that doesn't mean someone's out to _murder_ Launchpad!"

He could be so stubborn about some things, Gosalyn thought. Which was weird because he had NO backbone about most things. Was she really being unreasonable? She honestly didn't think so. "I didn't say murder. I said _assassinate_! There are subtle differences!" Honker shook his head, and she scoffed. "What? Like it makes more sense that after two other unrelated accidents aimed at him, all of a sudden, random MISSILE attack?"

Honker didn't have an answer for that. She could see him thinking and she knew she was getting her point across. Finally he asked, "Okay, well... let's say that it's true. What could we do about it? Your dad isn't here, and you already said Launchpad isn't listening to you..."

"Yeah, and looking at him now it doesn't look like he WILL listen. No, Honk, it's up to us... We can't move without evidence, but a guy like that's probably got piles of evidence stashed in his foot locker. All we have to do is bring it out where everyone can see it."

"But how do we get it?"

Gosalyn shrugged. "Snoop."

With a sigh, Honker said, "I was afraid you were going to say that."

Meanwhile, Launchpad wasn't complaining at all about the extra attention he was getting. He couldn't tell if it was because Beth was worried by him nearly being a missile target, or if she was shaken by so nearly having been one herself, or if there was something else completely... but in any case, she had been keeping ahold of his elbow for the past ten minutes. All the stuff with LaDinde seemed silly and out of proportion now, because nothing could compete with the connection he and Beth had.

At least, it seemed silly until they passed the hotshot pilot on their way to the practice field, and found him surrounded by fans and signing autographs. "Wow," said Beth appreciatively, "I guess he's really a celebrity, huh?" Her hands slipped away from his elbow.

"Yeah, he's great," said Launchpad sullenly. He refused to look.

Loopy was at his other side, and she tapped him on the shoulder and gave him a significant look when he met her eyes. Loudly enough for Beth to hear, she said, "So, like, are you gonna come up and fly with us or NOT, Big Bro?"

"Uh..."

Beth caught up with them. "Oh wow! That would be so much fun, I've never gotten to really see you fly!" she said.

Bolstered, he managed a smile. "Oh, well, I dunno... it's been a long time since I've done any formation flyin'..."

"You never forget a thing like that, son!" said Birdy. She and Ripcord were both instantly nearby as if this was the chance they'd been waiting for.

"Besides," Ripcord added encouragingly, "that's what practice runs are for. Ya just fly around and get back inta the swing'a things."

"Without, like, crashing into everyone," Loopy put in. Her parents each gave her a stern look. "What? Beth said he doesn't do that anymore! I was helping!"

Launchpad hung his head a bit sheepishly; things hadn't been going the way he'd hoped so far that day, and he was really rusty on their drill routines. "I really dunno, guys..."

This was everyone's cue to beg, and they did so. Beth joined in. "Please? This might be the only time I get to see what you can do!" she said. He looked into her eyes and she looked so sincere and genuinely excited at the thought that he melted.

"Well... yeah, okay, just for the practice."

"Woohoo!" squealed Loopy. Before anyone else could react, though, Launchpad shook his head.

"Oh no - wait. I forgot. I don't have a plane here, so it's a no-go."

Birdy looked to Ripcord. "Well, the show coordinators do have a spare in the hangar..."

"It'd take a while to get out here an' get it up to par, but..." Ripcord trailed off uncertainly.

Launchpad shrugged. "Nah, no big deal. I'd be cuttin' into your practice time."

"Oh, just use mine," Loopy said. "I've totally practiced to the max this week, if I do anymore I'm gonna jinx myself."

The thought of flying in a pink plane, which Loopy was still stubbornly using, wasn't quite as impressive as Launchpad would've hoped. "No offense, Loopy, but I'd kinda rather not have people thinkin' I'm a 12-year-old girl." She stuck her tongue out at him, and as a reflex he mimicked it.

"Oh honestly, one plane is as good as another. _I'll_ fly Loopy's, you fly mine," said Birdy. She set off for the planes as if the matter was decided, which Launchpad supposed it now was. Loopy took off after her. "Uh, like, Mom? Do NOT look in the glove compartment, 'kay? MOM...?"

Ripcord stayed behind and grinned at Launchpad and his guests. "Glad that matter's settled. Little lady," he said to Beth, "you an' the kids just get comfy, an' watch Launchpad here."

"I will! I mean we all will! Wow, this is exciting!" She beamed at Launchpad and gave him a thumbs-up sign. "Good luck! Oh, shoot, where are my earplugs..." She lost herself in going through her bag at that point.

Gosalyn caught him on his way to the plane. "Be careful, Launchpad. We'll be on the lookout down here, so you watch out up there."

"Uh, will do, Gos," he said, without any idea what she could've meant. "Glad you're lookin' out for me." Gosalyn nodded seriously, and went back to looking around so intently that she could've been casing the area.

His last clear view of his friends was of Beth trying to force earplugs onto Honker and Gosalyn; Honker seemed grateful, but Gosalyn appeared to be trying to refuse them. He wondered who'd win that battle.

* * *

><p><em>Notes: in "Top Duck" the Flying McQuacks seem like they do stunts but I call them formation flyers here. I decided on this bc they fly as a group and I thought I'd use "stunts" for LaDinde since he flies solo. The stunts that the McQuacks do involve multiple people so I consider it formation. But yes, I'll admit that I hadn't seen "Top Duck" in a while when I started writing this so not all the details are spot-on; I finally was able to rewatch it and I'm trying to make this as consistent as I can. Sticking with the "formation" vs "stunt" designation though._


End file.
